


Happiness

by notellibutwhosasking



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 06:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10078454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notellibutwhosasking/pseuds/notellibutwhosasking
Summary: Alec thinks through each of the relationships he has, and wonders about who makes him happy.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InterstellarAngel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterstellarAngel/gifts).



> Hi! I'm Elli, and this is my first piece of fanfiction on this site, and it was kinda inspired by "Safe Inside" By James Arthur.  
> Hope you enjoy x

Alec was happy, in fact he was happier than he’d been in a while. But to some degree, in amongst all the sadness, he had always been happy. He was happy knowing that deep down his parents loved him, maybe not in the same way they’d had previously but that had always been more like pride than love. His relationship with his parents had somewhat deteriorated over the years, almost like the space between them mirrored Alec’s age. His childhood wasn’t normal, but who’s to say what a normal childhood is let alone one for a shadowhunter. Alec knew that Maryse loved him, and Alec was happy with knowing that. Maybe she didn’t love Alec completely, but he had confidence in rebuilding some sort of relationship between them again. His father had never been hands on with Alec. Since he could remember, Robert was always a figure in the background; present, always present, but never fully involved. He watched his son become a strong leader, but Robert thought that was the most important thing. He’d never considered his son’s happiness, because that has Robert’s ultimate downfall. He was happy working with the charismatic Valentine, and now that would’ve been considered a crush. Valentine was this beautiful, powerful person who Robert envied and he yearned for the attention of the younger boy. Robert saw far too much of himself in Alec, and falling for the wrong person ruined his life. But, this was a sure sign of how much Robert payed attention to his eldest son, for if he looked close he’d see that the only thing they shared was their surname, as one was happy and the other was not.

Alec knew Izzy loved him and always would, as it had always been the both of them together. Izzy was strong and solid, and Alec was happy knowing that. Izzy had known from the start about Alec’s sexuality, and she for a long time was the only person he trusted with it. He and Izzy had been bought up the same, and this unique experience bonded them. Most siblings bickered and fought, but not these two. An argument in the wrong place at the wrong time, and any mistake would cost them their lives, and they knew that they wouldn’t be able to live without the other. Izzy was Alec’s security blanket growing up, and every thought he’d had he confided in her. Izzy had never been as open with her secrets, but Alec knew that if anything was serious he’d be the first person to tell. Izzy was never one for the small things; Alec had always made a big deal about his sexuality but to Izzy, that didn’t matter. What was important was Alec’s happiness, and if he was happy she was happy.   
 

Alec had come to terms with how Jace loved him, now knowing he loved him as a brother and nothing more. From when he first met him, Alec was enamoured. Jace was a mystery, a puzzle of a boy with a scarred heart. Jace was a golden ray, shot into Alec’s life. Jace learning of Alec’s sexuality put some things into perspective for him. That odd  conversation they’d had about Alec loving Jace was suddenly made clear. Jace wasn’t disgusted about how Alec felt for him, they were parabatai so Jace felt everything Alec did, but now Jace knew Alec didn’t love him like that, Alec just loved the idea of Jace loving him the way he wanted him too. Alec had also come to grips with how he actually loved Jace, and he was happy with Jace being his best friend. 

 Since meeting Magnus, Alec had quickly come to realise his feelings for Jace. These feelings still lingered around the edges, but when you completely devote your soul to one person for such a long time, they don't disappear completely. Alec realised he loved the idea of being in love with Jace, he loved the idea that Jace might feel the same way. But Jace doesn't, and despite that being the harsh reality of it, Alec found it enlightening. He now doesn't have to fight for Jace's attention, because he is his parabatai and thats enough. Jace hadn't completely worked it out, but he knew that if Alec was happy, then he was happy. Alec was more than happy to be able to distinguish the brotherly love he felt for Jace, and the deep, romantic love he felt for a different man. Alec was happy to have his best friend as his best friend. 

Max was a mystery, being posted in Idris with his parents meant that neither brother saw each other often. Back in Idris, Alec knew that the Clave was still reeling in the fact that a man could love another man. That a shadowhunter could fall for a downworlder, a warlock. Alec knew that Max’s mind was still elastic, and that he was susceptible to all the hate that was being thrown around along with the Lightwood name. Alec knew that it was still possible for Max to hate him, but he hoped that Max remembered Alec as the cool older brother who bought him comics and listened to his stories. He hoped that Max would always love him, and if he did so, Alec and Max both would be happy.

Alec loved his job. Shadowhunting ran in his blood, and fueled his every being. Deep down Alec wanted to be a superhero like the ones in Max’s comics, and shadowhunting was the closest thing to. Abiding by the law was what Alec was good at, and keeping people safe (despite not being a fan of mundanes) was something that got him out of bed in the morning. The hunt, the chase and the kill exhilarated Alec, sending waves of euphoria though his racing body. He loved shadowhunting more than life itself, despite being born into and for this job.  The world, his family and life itself could change but shadowhunting never would, and that was a constant Alec relied on. His bow and quiver were an extension of his soul, something that also would never change. He was happy being a shadowhunter.

But in this moment, Alec had never been quite this happy.

A man,  _the man_ , who Alec loved was resting on his chest, snoring lightly. Never in his wildest dreams had Alec thought that he would’ve found someone who accepted him, who respected him, like this man did. It was early morning in New York, a time to move and to get ready for the day, but Alec couldn’t move. his arms were locked around the sleeping form of  his boyfriend, his boyfriend, and Alec’s nose was buried in the soft black strands of his lovers hair. Magnus shifted slightly in his sleep, rubbing his cheek against Alec’s heart, his ear resting above his heart which was jumping out of his chest. Their legs laid intertwined under the soft sheets, with Alec’s knee bent allowing his big toe to trace the line of Magnus’ calf. In return, Magnus’ long slender fingers were resting on Alec’s bare chest, softly combing through his chest hair.  Alec couldn’t move, yet he couldn’t think of a single reason as to why. Moving would mean that they day was passing, but Alec would be happy to live in this moment forever. Alec hadn’t told Magnus yet, they’d only been together for 4 months despite nearly having sex a few weeks into their relationship, and Alec now didn’t want his relationship with Magnus to disappear down the drain.  Magnus was notorious for his long list of ex-lovers, and Alec was prolonging admitting his love to Magnus, because he wanted Magnus to want him and to want to keep him around.   
 Magnus hummed, the sound penetrating the silence of the normally noisy apartment before turning into a soft sigh.  **"I love you Alexander."**

Alec had never been happier, and he couldn’t picture himself happier with anybody else.


End file.
